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Housing in your second and subsequent years is really strange - usually you have secured your contract 9-11 months before you actually move in! When you signed the contract, you probably didn’t know everyone that well, maybe you only met them once, maybe you are all really close. Whatever the situation, sometimes it can be difficult.
In my second-year house, I lived with five other girls, three I’d lived with before (two are my best friends, one I wasn’t close with), and two others I’d only met a few times beforehand. We had some rocky moments at times, but we survived! Here are some tips on how to manage living with your friends:
- Use a random number generator to pick rooms, it is fair and means no arguments. If people then want to swap between themselves then they can.
- Make a chore timetable. It keeps things fair and your living spaces clean BUT this doesn’t mean you don’t clean up after yourself. Get together and decide what needs to be done weekly, and anything else which can be done monthly. Then divide it up between you!
Here's an example:
Weekly tasks:
Empty the bins and recycling (depending on how many people are in your house and the size of your bin, you might need to do this more often).
Clean the kitchen - clean and wipe surfaces, clean the microwave, empty the dishwasher.
Clean the bathroom – scrub the sink, shower and toilet. Wash any bathroom mats or hand towels.
Sweep, mop and/or vacuum all the communal floors.
Clean and tidy the living room. Put away any items that shouldn’t be there, tidy the sofas, and wipe the sides.
Monthly tasks:
Deep clean the oven and stovetop.
Clear out and clean the fridge, tidy up freezer.
Have a group chat, WhatsApp is a good option. Keep messages polite and relevant. DO NOT start an argument, it can be annoying if someone has left out dishes but put a kind message.
- You can make a rota for buying essentials similar to the chore timetable.
- Share but always ask, generally people are happy to share but make sure you are respectful.
- Having people over: for one or two nights it is generally okay to not ask for permission, but it is important to give notice. For longer stays double check it is okay.
- Noise: be aware of the thickness of the walls and creakiness of the floors, try and keep it quiet by midnight or 1 am. It is important to have a vague idea of what your housemates are up to so that you know to be extra quiet if the person you are sharing a wall with has an early start.
- Learn to let things go – to keep your living environment happy, healthy, and stable, you need to learn to give people grace, holding grudges and resentments never help a situation and can often just make things worse.
- Overdo the kindness – even when you are living together you don’t know everything going on in someone’s lives, be sensitive.
- Have house nights. If you all don’t know each other that well it is a good idea to have a take-out night, board game, movie night, pub trip, group food shop trip. Try and do a group activity once a term, it will help keep a good atmosphere in the house.
- Food shopping: it can be a good idea to pair up if you are doing an online food shop.
- If someone has asked you to pay them back, do it as quickly as possible, some people struggle to ask more than once, and it is important to be sensitive about other’s financial situation.
Remember: your living spaces are for all of you, it is important to have balance and tranquillity! Everyone should feel comfortable and relaxed in their home.